Having twins is easier. There, I said it. I’m not sure if many of you would be convinced by this bold statement but in my limited experience, it seems to be true. So many mothers ask me how I cope. This obviously means that they find having one trying enough. I almost feel bad telling them that now it’s a breeze. Let’s go back a bit so that I can tell you how I made this discovery and why I think it came about.
When I found out I was having twins I must admit that I was far from pleasantly surprised. The thought of being a mother was frightening enough and the thought of having to deal with two was truly terrifying. Luckily one gets some time to get used to the idea so when they arrived I was as prepared as any new mother could be.
The first few months were tiring but okay. Newborns don’t do much so I managed to cope. There was a lot more work to do than with one but I wasn’t working and my partner chipped in. It’s what fathers of twins have to do unless they’re totally heartless! So it was during these first few months with the boys that I think the foundation was laid with three crucial things for later ease of parenting.
The first thing I did was get into a routine, quickly! You don’t have the luxury of random feeds and unplanned outings with two. It would take the whole day to get anything done then. At times it was so tempting to just go with the flow but I remained strict with each routine. I still get ridiculed for it. And now they go to bed without even a peep. No screaming tantrums or outright refusal to go to the land of nod. If they don’t fall asleep right away they’ll ‘talk’ to each until they do.
The second thing I did was put them into their own room right at the beginning. I didn’t have much choice because I tried co-sleeping with them but logistically it was a nightmare. They started out together in one Moses basket, then one cot and then their own cot. I think the fact that there has always been someone else there, has made a huge difference. They also started sleeping through at about seven months. This is my no means remarkable but I think it was hurried along by feeling safe and secure in their own room.
The third thing was not something that I wanted but something that happened because they’re twins. Twins don’t receive as much attention as a singleton. It’s not humanly possible unless there are two pairs of hands constantly. I used to feel horrendously guilty about this but it has had a really positive outcome. The boys are really self-reliant and independent. They are still affectionate but not needy or clingy in any way. And the absolute cherry on the top is that they have each other to play with. They spend hours entertaining each other and I have to admit that it’s absolutely adorable. And it gives me a little break now and then.
So this is just a little encouragement to any women expecting twins. It might seem like such a daunting task but it is easier in the end. And you will have the joy of two little bundles of fun. Having twins truly is such a wonderful and special blessing.